Honesty is a funny thing.......how many people can truly say they are honest??? Not many of the people that I know can make that claim, or maybe my standards are just too high......especially when I think I lead a totally dishonest life.
I play at life, I have a different mask/personality for different situations and I try to act accordingly......I have no idea how to like or even enjoy life - for me it's always something I have to endure until it's over, I know this isn't normal so I copy people to try and behave like them.......does that mean I'm not real???
I have 7 main masks and have had for most of my life.....daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, hairdresser, quilter......the problem is I have lived like this for so long I don't know who the real me is. So if I'm not being real, am I living dishonestly???
I have been lied to yet again - but this time I feel no anger, I feel....NOTHING.....in actual fact, I admire the person for having the courage to admit all what they have done - I don't know if I would be so brave to stand before someone and tell them that everything they know about me is a lie and actually the only thing they can honestly know about me is my name, the rest - well it's sits in the bin marked lies. Can I judge them, when I believe my whole life is dishonest??? Can I judge them when other people I know live a life full of half truths and exaggerations and are allowed to merrily go on their way.......when does an exaggeration become a lie, if you are saying something that you know not to be true, then you must be lying, why do we dress it up as an exaggeration??? Sin is sin, so the bible says, it doesn't matter how big the lie, ALL sin is abhorent to God......why should one person be judged because they told big/many lies, when the person standing next to them (and judging them) claims to be better, and more righteous, because they only exaggerated a bit???
I just don't know who or how to trust anymore......how can I when I don't even know I am trustworthy.......
About Me
- Jules
- I'm Jules and I love sewing. My darling nanny Daisy, taught me to sew at a young age, but I grew up, became a wife and mother and let those sewing skills sit up on a shelf for many years. I rekindled those skills 4 years ago and now make all kinds of bags, quilts, table runners, placemats, aprons, journal covers......the list goes on, and on, and on....
4 comments:
http://www.bibleknowledgebookstore.com/item/joyce-meyer/beauty-for-ashes-receiving-emotional-healing/355059.html
I can definitely identify with the pain of not enjoying life, and copying the behaviors of other people.. I don't think it means we're not real. I believe that is a lie Satan wants us to believe, it separates us from our God who created us. God said his strength is perfected in our weaknesses, and Paul said he became all things to all people in order to win them to Christ. This weakness has its advantages, If you're like me it means you're able to get along with almost everyone, and that can be liberating when used for the purpose of loving people where they're at for Christ. It can also cause hurt and pain, but we also have to trust God with our hearts and know that though other people can hurt us, betray us, abandon us, God never will. I know that you know this truth and have clung to it. I find i'm in a better place when i'm reaching out to help people in far greater need than me. I still struggle with getting outside of myself and moving to action, but when i do, Gods love becomes all the more real. I don't think our faith can grow all that much held up in our rooms with our Bible. Not that we shouldn't do that, but it must be coupled with action. I'm not sure if right now you're reaching out to the poor and the needy, but If not I will challenge you as I challenge myself to do so. And we must do it with Gods strength not our own. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you, and because of that you are beautiful and powerful beyond your imagination. May His spirit heal you and continue leading you and me to true life. I love you sister.
"To all who mourn in Isreal, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. for the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory." Isaiah 61:3
Wow !! Moving post. That is something I am going to have to really think about for in my own life.
Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
Let that beautiful verse sink in and surf on over to http://www.hybridhondas.com. Please click on a link or two when you’re there. It costs nothing and by doing so you’ll be helping a fellow brother out so he can continue helping others.
Please spread the word to other brothers and sisters. Be blessed and thank you
I love your Blog!
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