Sunday, December 13, 2009

Deeper and deeper........

I feel that I'm sinking deeper and deeper.......I continue to face hurts, disappointments and let downs.

People lie, cheat, steal and slowly and surely they destroy your faith in humankind. They help destroy the trust you have in people, they destroy your confidence, make you think you aren't a good judge of character, make you suspicious of everyone else, don't hold up their end of an agreement, don't make good their promises........promises made before a third party and in the name of God.

They profess to being good Christians, but how can that be when they have stolen, lied to you, gone back on their word and treated you badly........that's certainly not my definition of being a Christian. How they can hold their head up in church is beyond me.......I guess I have to trust that God WILL judge them one day......but the damage for me and my family seems irrepairable right now. It took me years to trust people, years to believe and years to even think I had any hope........the further I sink down, the further away these seem......too far away to grasp onto.

My world has gone back to being black again......black and lonely.........and so full of hurt.