I'm back.......hopefully!!!!!

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I posted on here......but what a year it's been. Some of it good, but most of it bad, which is one of the main reasons I haven't posted.

I have been thinking a lot about the name of this blog - A Life Worth Living - and since July 2008 I've had to wonder 'is it a life worth living?'......I'm not suicudal or anything, but with a name like that it's very hard to post when you are in a very dark place.

The darkness hasn't lifted by any means, and to be honest some days I can't even believe there is an end to the tunnel I'm in, let alone see any light at the end of it........and my trust in people has been completely shattered. Shattered by people I considered real, true friends and the damage has been immense. I have found myself slipping back into past behaviours, and they're not always the right ones. I have retreated from my social circle and thrown up walls to keep everyone out. They went up so fast and strong that they were there before I even realised what I was doing.........and I am locked away so tightly within myself that I don't know how to emerge into the light again. I feel like a spectator on my own life. I feel like I am standing in the wings, watching the sorry excuse for my life as it stands now.........I'm not living life anymore, I'm observing life......even with counselling I'm struggling big time, but I do trust God, and I know he will be with me through this........

So here's to a better year than the last one.......and hopefully I'll keep up with this blog even if I don't think I have anything worth saying.......