Saturday, January 17, 2009

Difficult

This last week has been really difficult.......and not just emotionally. Physically I've come down with a rotten cold and just feel dreadful. I'm shattered, achey, coughing and sniffly - not nice.

Emotionally I haven't faired any better. I have been very down, can't sleep for days and then feel like I could sleep for days and have to drag myself out of bed. I'm tired the whole time and cannot concentrate on anything - a while back I was really starting to worry about my mind, I truly did think I was showing the first signs of alzheimers, but my counsellor assures me that what I'm experiencing is normal when you are under stress. I can sit and read something and immediately afterwards not have a clue what I have just read. I spend a lot of my time standing in a room wondering why I walked in there and I am trying not to do a lot of driving, because I've had a few times where Ive suddenly 'come to' in the car and not known where I was (because I wasn't concentrating on how I got there) forgetting where I'm going and even forgetting how to get to places I could drive to blindfolded, cos I know the routes so well........it's all a bit bizarre and if I'm honest, quite distressing at times. I can't seem to find any solace anywhere - I read my bible, or a daily reading and promptly can't recall what I have read, so any pearls of wisdom I may usually have found are not staying with me.........I feel like I am clinging on, quite literally.......I know God is there, but that is about all I know at the moment, but do you know what??? That is enough, to know He is there.

So true to my previous post, I AM posting, even though I have nothing very much to say.......

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